Life is full of suck.

It’s been over a month since I’ve written here. Life is so full of suck. Today I found out that a friend of mine died. Granted, I haven’t seen or talked to her in years, but it still hits your right in the heart when you get that kind of news. It’s always distressing when someone dies, but it’s extra disturbing for me when it’s someone my age. It’s like suddenly I get the feeling that death is all around me, just waiting to jump out and grab me or someone close to me next. I hate that feeling.

Well, and a lighter-but-still-sucky note, I started a new job a month ago. It’s a job I really like, but it took less than one week for me to get screwed over. I was supposed to be working full time, 35hrs total, weekdays. Now I’m down to 2 days and every other Saturday. I’m feeling a little bit used. I kind of feel like it was a partially a ploy to get me to quit my other job. So I’m back to needing the online supplemental work. I don’t mind, I guess, (the online part, this is) I’m just really disappointed that I’m making less than half of what I was supposed to be making. I just registered for my phlebotomy class yesterday, and now I have like $150 left to my name. I still owe $425 for my class which starts at the beginning of June. My 30th birthday is on my second day of class. I really wanted to do something special, since its “the big 3-0,” but now I’m wondering if I’m even going to have enough money to do anything with. I’m upset because I got screwed over and am now in yet another sucky situation that I didn’t intend. When will life stop beating me up?!

On the bright side, I am registered for my phlebotomy class, FINALLY! I’ll be certified by August! It’s so exciting because that will enable me to leave the job a have for something more stable. Something that doesn’t involve family members with ulterior motives. Something that will actually pay me enough to live. I need to be able to pay my ongoing school tuition and I honestly just can’t depend entirely on the job I have to get me where I need to be.

Life. Pff.

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